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Weight Affecting Your Love Life

Updated: Aug 26, 2021

If you're like most of our members, you've probably thought about losing weight to have a better love life, but do we need to lose weight to have a better love life and are most people attracted to people who look trim and fit for their age?


First, let's acknowledge that there are cultures where skinny is not as valued as others, and some men prefer big bone, but is date night or dating a struggle because we're not our desired goal weight?



We are programmed to believe that our bodies are not sexy unless it conforms to the ideal male and female forms—an hourglass shape if you're female and an upper torso like an inverted triangle if you are male. Unfortunately, being overweight, the body doesn't conform to those ideal forms most people find most attractive.


Attraction to sexually selected fitness indicators ensures that one would be mating with someone fertile and healthy. Sexual maturity reveals our secondary sex characteristics that arise during puberty due to increase sex hormones. Testosterone makes males grow tall and lean with large upper body muscles, which the upper torso begins to look like an inverted triangle. Estrogen gives women full breasts, butts, and lips, which the hourglass shape. Therefore, being overweight is less attractive because it implies that we lack certain sexually selected fitness indicators. These are what evolutionary psychologists call sexually selected

fitness indicators because they advertise one's fertility and health.


With this unconscious way of thinking, excess weight remains a handicap to many love life because it is human nature to long for an ideal romantic partner who has it all even though we don't have it all. So when we're self-conscious about our weight, we might compensate quite a bit for being overweight by making a concerted effort to display the personality characteristics others might look for in an ideal romantic partner.


Dating


The first impression we make on someone is our physical appearance, so weight affects who is willing to date us. Do we have an attractive face and body? We lose points for weight despite having a friendly face and a winning personality. One of the Chic Wellness Lux Spa members explained that they remember going on a date in their late twenties while struggling with their weight and was probably around 30 pounds overweight. A fit and attractive work colleague seemed interested in dating them. However, they couldn't believe someone out of their league wanted to date them. They explained that their date was a lot of fun but suspected it would be the last date when he affectionately patted her stomach and teasingly said they needed to lose some weight. My spa member (turned friend) left that date feel as if she was fascinating to him because she was smart but was out of shape, and that was a deal-breaker for someone who was "attractive" because they are fit.


Marriage


When I met my future husband, I was average weight for my height and age because we met in high school while I was a cheerleader. Although once we started going out for regular romantic dinners at gourmet restaurants, I picked up about 30 pounds. My personality sufficiently compensated for gaining weight from eating all of those romantic dinners. Nevertheless, weight can interfere with our sexual desire from 2 to 3 times a day to simply lacking when you gain weight. Moreover, an overweight appearance can sometimes make it difficult to perform different sex positions because we judge ourselves while performing instead of enjoying our partner.

Our preference isn't just about superficial appearance because that would be narcissism. Rather later in life, being overweight can bring health conditions such as heart disease and diabetes, adversely affecting one's quality of life while growing old with their partner. In addition, sexual functioning tends to decline as we age, but it can rapidly decrease when suffering a severe illness associated with weakened sexual functioning. Therefore, avoiding obesity-related diseases is essential if you wish to have an active sex life well into your old age.


What to do?


To avoid these weight-related challenges in your love life, you need to lose weight and keep it off to maintain an average body mass index. I know it's easier said than done, but possible. Sticking with a diet and not regaining lost weight is difficult. Indeed, the benefit of being trim to have a thriving love life is a good incentive to lose weight. But, dieting is not so easy when you are dating or married.


To avoid these weight-related challenges in your love life, you need to lose weight and keep it off to maintain an average body mass index. I know it's easier said than done, but possible. Sticking with a diet and not regaining lost weight is difficult. Indeed, the benefit of being trim to have a thriving love life is a good incentive to lose weight. But, dieting is not so easy when you are dating or married.


A low-carb/low-fat diet is not that romantic on a date or over a candlelit dinner. So is it the right choice to turn down the wine, succulent but high-fat Italian cuisine, and spoon-feeding each other dessert? No. Don't sacrifice fully enjoying your love life. Weight is not an isolated incident. It's the daily decisions we make when consuming our breakfast, lunch, dinner, snacks, and beverages. My advice to our members is to make better choices daily to enjoy yourself during date night. All of our services include a complimentary wellness plan to help you achieve the desired results you want. Chic Wellness Luxe Spa is dedicated to helping you reach your body goals by mastering your health to feel confident and fabulous! Schedule your appointment today at our day spa in Downtown Dayton.


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